I’ve been thinking about perseverance a lot lately. As I’ve reflected about the ability to persevere I’m more cognizant of the power of this attribute. And, more personally, I’m more profoundly aware of how the ability to persevere has helped me my whole life long.

For example, as an elementary-age child I loved to run and wanted to try my luck at competing a little. So, I participated in competitive activities and events at school and persevered year after year. At graduation, my peers named me “fastest girl.”

Then, during high school I wanted to make the pompon squad which meant being able to dance well plus perform cartwheels, splits and flips! Yes, cheerleaders did all of this and more! So, I persevered and made the team to my utter surprise and delight.

Once, in college, during my second year in fact, I’d decided that I had matured enough to handle living in an apt on campus. Aside from approval from parents and the RD (resident director), I had to complete an exit inspection of the dorm room facilities I’d used over the past year. My inspection reported damage to a wall and included a bill for thirty something dollars. Well I hadn’t caused the damage and had to prove that it was there when I moved in. I persevered with gathering the evidence needed to contest the charges and the bill was rescinded.

I bet you could come up with your own list of memorable experiences of how perseverance has helped you to deal with and successfully overcome obstacles in your life. Perseverance pulls you forward when you’re most likely to throw in the towel…it says to you, “Just a little more and you’re there!”

Are you facing a relationship challenge at home with your partner, your kids, or your own parents or in-laws? How could perseverance help pull you through to another level of coping? Oftentimes there are numerous reasons to stop, quit, give up, give in, surrender, or stay down…the challenge for you and all of us is to continue to find reasons to persevere. Marriage difficulties? Rising up through difficulties is possible with the right support and perseverance.

Be encouraged, ask questions, and persevere in getting what you need to thrive in our marriage or other important relationship!

I’m writing a series of articles on high earning women in marriage and I feel compelled to blog about some of my many thoughts on the subject. So excuse my diversion from my original plan regarding health issues ane marriage.

Perhaps the most bothersome aspect of the reality that some high earning women believe that they must “protect” the ego of their man for the sake of peace in their relationship is that this is an option that: 

1. is an exercise in futility
2. means giving up the freedom to fully express your humanity authentically

It’s futile because each of us is responsible for the development or lack thereof of our own sense of self. Despite our love for our husbands, children, friends, and others…we cannot do their personal growth work for them (it’s enough to take care of our own ladies!)

Secondly, is it really loving to ask a partner to give up their freedom to fully express and live out their humanity authentically? It isn’t. The core of genuine love is the ability to care for you as I would myself. And that means granting you the very freedom I desire for myself—the freedom to know and be know for who and what I truly am. To be known, as well as, loved for my authentic self.

Mature love does not demand that I withhold thoughts, feelings, intentions, or actions that may not be the same as yours. Mature love allows me to be my unique self and strives to understand and accept our individual uniqueness as a gift to our relationship.  

Bright, enterprising, caring, successful women need to shed the belief that their man’s ego cannot stand up to her accomplishments and start having open conversations about the strengths and weaknesses of their marriage relationship.

Over time the choice to speak, act, or otherwise behave outside of your authentic self will undermine your ability to create what you want most in a marriage partner—authentic friendship, collaboration, and real intimacy. 

If God can look down on what you’ve achieved with what he gave you (life, talent, time, intelligence, guts, drive and ambition, opportunity, support, etc) and pronounce it “good” can’t you take pride in your accomplishments? What about the man who loves you?

Life’s greatest task is love. And, it takes self mastery to love freely and authentically!

What can you do to start being more authentic in your conversations and interactions in marriage. What will it mean for you to be more real about your thoughts? Feelings? Wants?

 Just one small step gets the process of change into motion! And, you, your partner, and marriage are worth it!