Mornings have gradually become more cooler and breezier here in Southwest Florida–a long awaited seasonal transition! I’ve been taking morning power walks for the exercise and pleasure of being out early. Since my toddler loves the outdoors too we enjoy this simple gift together.

We usually walk (she walks and rides alternately in her little car) for 45 minutes. This morning I offered to take her farther along the path we trod to the park. She spent most of her time on her favorite activity–the swing.

If you’ve ever tried taking a toddler out of the swing against her will you know what I endured trying to leave the park!

Yep, screaming, clinging to the swing—an all out protest. After working through it my beloved daughter decided she was too tired to ride back home (some 45 minutes away!). Needless to say, I chose to carry her, while pushing the car for what felt like an eternity as my arms—the strongest part of my body, a direct result of carrying my daughter in body carriers from infancy and often as a toddler–finally began their own protest against the dead weight of the sleeping child.

I had only planned to carry her for five minutes and then put her back into her car, but she fell asleep. We were up at 7:45 a.m. so as you might imagine, by 11:50 a.m. she was clearly ready for a nap.

I realized I had a problem!

She weighs 37 pounds and I need both arms to balance myself while walking briskly. As I considered my options I opted finally to just take my time while enjoying the journey one step at a time. And, to my surprise, I was home before I knew it. As we reached our subdivision she awoke and went back into her car without hesitation.

Here’s the wonderful lesson in the experience:

More often than not we can manage and overcome the challenges that we encounter if we take them on one step at a time.

Had I focused on the fact that I had to carry a sleeping child while pushing her car for 45 minutes it’s likely that I would have concluded that it was not possible…that it was more than I could manage. I think we do this when we encounter challenges to what we want or need in our relationships. What if we considered our possibilities instead? Whatever the challenges you face in your relationships at home I encourage you to make a real effort at identifying one step or one thing you could do today to turn your challenge around.

Often we try to solve our challenges immediately. Lasting breakthroughs, however, come through focused, repetitive actions guided by a clear purpose. Got a relationship challenge at home? Try focusing on one thing you can do and be consistent and authentic in your effort and intention. Have a clear purpose to guide your actions so that you are acting out of personal integrity. Try recording your efforts in a journal. Use it to express your thoughts, feelings, and intentions about what you’re doing.

 For anyone who’s ever said in a moment of sheer frustration, “Is this all there is to it?” this post is for you…and the answer is, absolutely not! If you’re dissatisfied with the way things are in your marriage relationship use that dissatisfaction in ways that can actually benefit you and your marriage.

Here’s what I mean.

1.) If you’re angry about something that has happened, is happening, or that you expect to happen–don’t just be angry…what else can you do other than feel a particular way about it (in this case, angry)?

2.) If you need something from your partner and he shows no interest in fulfilling this need, consider what it would really require of him…what you’re really seeking from him, and whether or not this is a legitimate expectation.

3.) Emotional closeness is a high priority for married women today, and believe me it’s very important to the health of a marriage in many ways. Here’s the rub, and there is a rub…too often we want to be the receiver. We don’t want to take the first step (for many reasons, for sure) and instead wait for what we believe we deserve from our partner. And, there are times indeed when we are deserving of certain actions, but the most powerful and transforming actions come when we take steps independent of what is deserved. We do them purely as an act of love.

So, the next time you’re tempted to say or hear a friend say, “Is this all there is to marriage?” you can know that marriage becomes what we make of it—and because we are truly intended for more in this very special relationship, our marriage relationship, the real question has to be, “What’s keeping me from taking steps that would transform my marriage into more of what it can be?”

The answer may surprise you. Maybe you honestly don’t knowwhat’s standing in your way. If you could take an inside look at prosperity in marriage would you? I’m hosting a teleseminar that will do just that. You can read about it here. Join me there and learn what you can do to experience much more satisfaction in your marriage!